Why Can't I Heal II
Certainly we have a ways to go in our development, and lord knows, we make our share of mistakes, but the vast majority of people all around the planet are good, well meaning, caring, loving, decent souls. It has always been that way, and yet real connection with our God-selves eludes us. I have said before in these writings that when you find something massively “out of kilter” in human society, you need to look for deeper and more significant explanations, and that is certainly true in this case.
The simple answer is that the game of life has been rigged. For thousands of years during The Age of Karma, your chances of making a really meaningful God-connection have been virtually nil. Profound spiritual development has been designed out of the process, while the desire for enlightenment has not. The resulting inevitable frustration was intended. Christ came to us with a message of love and compassion, knowing full well that we would not be able to go there. He lovingly set us up.
There are two basic reasons for this. Imagine humankind as a giant spring. The more you wind it up, the more power it has to do work. Over thousands of years of failure in making a meaningful God connection, we have built up a powerful inner frustration. We have looked again and again for salvation, and He hasn’t been there (so we thought). We have internalized the resulting feelings of abandonment as personal unworthiness.
These feelings and our eons-old frustration with God, hold enormous potential energy. They are an enormous spring; all wound up and ready to erupt. That frustration will provide the energy for a monumental and unprecedented transformation of human consciousness.
As I work with groups I ask people about their relationship with God. I also ask them how worthy they feel. The results are surprising. What are the odds that you could take room after room of hundreds and hundreds of people and have almost every person tell you that they felt unworthy? I have had that experience repeated many, many times. When we find a substantial anomaly in the human experience, we are obliged to look for deeper explanations. It is my judgment that around the world, humankind’s giant spring is becoming explosively loaded.
I said that there were two reasons for the separation from the God experience. The first involves the creation of potential energy as we have discussed. The second has to do with ownership.
How different does it feel for you to work for and earn something than to have it handed to you? Certainly gifts are nice, but when you have paid with something through your hard work and effort, it takes on a much greater significance. To strengthen that concept even further, it is when you have lost something that you really come to appreciate it. Read the accounts of how near-death experiences massively change people’s appreciation for life. And, the further out you go, the greater the appreciation you feel for what you have had.
So what does all this have to do with God? Well, how separated do you feel from the God-consciousness right now? How alone and unloved and unlovable do you feel at your core? How deeply do the feelings of unworthiness cut into your gut? When you come back to the God-space, your feelings of separation will foster an appreciation of that space simply not possible in any other way. And the pain that you have experienced along the way will energize your process. And from where you are probably sitting at the moment, the process can seem unfair, arbitrary and perhaps even cruel. I assure you that it is not. It is our resistance to opening our hearts that causes us pain and makes the process difficult.
What you need in order to grow and develop has been determined, and you are going to experience what you need, regardless of how you feel about it. And because much of what you need to learn puts you up against your fears and anxieties, I can assure you that you are not going to like it.
The good news is that the rules are changing and that you are going to come home. We have entered an age with somewhat different rules from those of the past. This age, which will be known as The Age of Awakening, will be a 50-year period of unprecedented transformation in human consciousness.
So where does that leave you? Probably confused, frustrated and maybe a little bit scared. The bleed-through of your past life experiences during The Age of Karma has probably left a pretty sour taste in your mouth when it comes to your relationship with God. It strongly influences your present-day beliefs and attitudes.
So this grand process is going to affect all of humanity and you will be swept up in it. Are you powerless to affect the outcome? The answer is yes and no. You are not going to be able to stand in front of the parade with a flag and affect the course of the great ship of life. Humankind is on its path, and the collective agendas of 6 billion other people will determine where we go.
Now, does that mean that you should just sit on the couch, turn on Oprah and wait for enlightenment? No. Life does not work that way. There is a very important related issue, which you do control. You may not be able to direct your life, but you do decide how you will respond to what happens. I will repeat: the quality of your life experience is largely determined not by what happens, but by how you respond to it. Whether you look at life from an individual or a societal perspective, there is only one process occurring. You are being asked to learn to love. To love others for certain, but most importantly, to learn to love yourself. The more we do that, the easier life becomes. Life does not change; we change how we relate to it.
Here’s the secret: as you become more loving and compassionate, you affect what happens to you because the Universe “backs off.” The Universe is here to teach you to love, and as you begin to get the lesson and live more in harmony with life, you don’t need more “training.”
The goal is to learn to live in harmony with the Universal Principle to LOVE EVERYTHING. Good, bad, scary, sweet, disruptive or harmonious, your goal is to learn to love the process. You don’t have to like what is happening, but if you work at it, you can come to see and appreciate the powerful opportunity for change contained in even the most difficult and trying of circumstances.
So that’s the goal. In concept, loving yourself is simple, but as you know, doing it can be difficult. And, that “difficulty” encompasses the challenge laid before you in completing what you came here to do. Most people are able to love to a point. Deciding that they deserve to be loved and unconditionally opening their hearts presents significant difficulty. I have written about learning to love yourself in several of these articles and the subject is addressed at length in my new book Truth.
Ok, so what do you do? Even if you accept that everything I have said so far is correct, you are still stuck with the person you see in the mirror every morning. That person gets scared, angry, judgmental and occasionally downright petty. What can you do to help that person to heal?
Start by practicing loving other people. Make it a conscious effort, 24 hours a day. Start with loving the people you know that you do not have major issues with. Note that I said love, not like. You may disagree with another person’s choices, but you can still love them for who they are. Practice opening your heart to them and work to keep it open. Watch to see if your attitude changes when their behavior changes, especially if they change their behavior toward you.
When you feel as though you have begun to love the people you know, then practice loving strangers, like the guy in the other car, the person ahead of you in line or the clerk at the store. Again, you won’t always like what they do, but love who they are. This can be easier with strangers because they are safer. After all, you don’t know them and they don’t know you. Remember, this is about changing what goes on inside you.
Then when you are ready, work on learning to love the people who push your buttons, who you have issues with, who aggravate you or that you simply dislike. In order to do that, it helps to separate behavior from issues. If you were to see someone walking naked down the street for example, you could have any number of reactions ranging from curiosity to amusement. You might not like what they were doing, but you would be largely uninvolved in the occurrence. If you told a friend about the incident it would be from a place of curiosity or perhaps humor, even shock or surprise. You would not be involved in what had happened.
If on the other hand, you had issues about your own sexuality, the naked person’s behavior might cause any number of more intense reactions. Seeing their uninhibited sexuality might drive you to become incensed and berate them or even throw stones, for example. If you told someone about what had happened, it might be with moral indignation. Emotionally you would have become very involved in the naked person’s behavior, and that is the difference. This is where we often get into trouble in relationship. We condemn the other for their “nakedness,” while failing or refusing to recognize that our emotional involvement is far deeper than that of the casual, uninvolved observer.
Once you have begun to recognize your own involvement in the creation of an issue, then try to look past the issue to see, to truly see, the other person. Nine times out of ten you will find a scared, fearful, alone, hurt person on the other side of this issue. If you can grasp that, you can better respond to what is really going on instead of the stuff you usually squabble over. They will probably still be difficult to deal with; so don’t set yourself up to get run over. But, this is not about them. You will feel better about yourself for dealing with the situation this way.
In order to move toward your own healing you must learn to love everything. Love them for their willingness to participate – even in a “negative” way – toward making you aware of your resistance to loving unconditionally. Also, if you wish, thank them for helping with the growth and development of our species.
And, if you cannot do any of that, then fake it. That’s right, cheat. If you do this earnestly, even though you do not believe it, you will find that you naturally begin to migrate to a better space. So, even if you fake it, you’ll actually begin to feel better, and that will reinforce doing it even more.
If you can’t fake it, you will want to look more deeply into the issue you are confronting. Do the shamanic journey process to identify the fear that is being triggered and work with the old fear and pain that you are carrying. This is a place where good professional help can be beneficial.
Then after all that, go into the bathroom, look into the mirror and start to work on loving yourself.
- By Ross Bishop
- July 20, 2016